In the next lifetime,

Put a warning sign Paste it right on your forehead So I wouldn’t spend another lifetime loving someone like you, again. With that warning sign, I would know, there’s a danger awaits if I’ll insist. A lot of pieces of me were scattered already And in my next life, I will just spend my seconds…

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Fire

I’ve been imagining how safe it feels to avoid the fire without even thinking that getting burned is a feeling too. – El

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When I said, ‘I love you’…

… I didn’t mean that you are the another piece of me Nor my Romeo who’ll die for me When I said, ‘ I love you’ What I mean was, I will spend every second of my life loving you. Without doing something in return Nor spending your life with me. Just let me, Just…

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The moment I stopped writing about you.

I still look for you in every piece I write lately. I still look for the metaphors that described you in ways that I couldn’t. I still look for the chapters where we’ve been once, and in the paragraphs where I had my worst and in the periods where you came and saved me. I…

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Losing is an art

It takes an artist to dig into it Just to understand its angle and details But in this art, Please be an artist For you to understand That there’s a beauty in losing someone So that you won’t spend your night Sitting in the corner And asking yourself, ‘Am I not enough?’ – Kath Panugan

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Never your Constant

Perhaps, I was never in my constant. I was a love yet a heartbreak at the same time. I was a coffee spill, a teardop, a heavy breeze or even a journal’s old sheet after all. Somehow, I was the hurricane behind the clouds, the never-ending movie in the cinema, the map of the lost…

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Where It all Started

Dates aren’t vivid, the moment is. You stood on that door and everything’s unsure. Surroundings seem blurry. And all I can see is you. And that’s the moment it all began. A regretful one. – Kath Panugan

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We were once cowards of love after all.

Meet me in our spot, just the same cafe four blocks away from our favorite park within Ludheg’s streetlights. Tell me how did your present life kill you and I will tell you more about mine time by time. Let’s intertwine our fingers and tangle our hearts and feel the stardusts until we could sob…

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If you will fall in love with me,

Don’t. Just don’t. You’ll just end up being sick with my playlists or being deaf with the silence of mine. You’ll just end up regretting giving me foods for I’ll never ever eat those. And if you’ll insist, don’t. For life will only make you a fool. – Kath Panugan

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And, it’s okay to be a blur sometimes.

It’s okay if you don’t see the signs like what others want you to do. It’s okay if you are torn between choosing the best or being the best in all aspects. It’s okay if you don’t shine when morning comes or sparkle when the dusk presents its stars. You are not a disaster, not…

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Maybe in the poems,

I could possibly make myself stay — when there isn’t a place to go anymore. Maybe in the poems, I could show you how butterflies dance when they weren’t supposed to every time I see you. Maybe in the poems, I could tell you more about how sad songs turn you into a lullaby baby…

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Keep that friend…

… who let you wear what you want for she knows you are comfortable with it. Keep that friend who buys you food every time you are craving or you are just hungry. Keep that friend who will get drunk with you and listen to your dramas until 6:00 AM. And keep that friend who…

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Is it a faraway place?

I’d still think of a place where our poets hid a secret. Is it already the place where our poems never fall out of words again? I don’t know, darling — I’ve never been to that place either. – El

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How did I even become a prisoner of your yesterdays?

Today, I’ll stop sending letters and vintage photographs while pretending that I’m still in the ocean of your smiles. Today, I’ll walk away and never look back to the things we used to talk about but never made it to the horizon. Today, I’ll think about how loving myself feels much more than just loving…

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I love silence.

It is loud and pleasant. It is freedom and victory. It is peace after the war. That others spend a lifetime seeking for. – Kath Panugan

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I heard that you are broken.

To tell you, I was there also. And I don’t know how did I able to escape. One day I just found myself smiling thinking that the person who broke me is now feeling the same pain I’ve been through. Sorry, but equality was never been this satisfying

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Only in a Real Man’s Eye

When all the beautiful details of you Can be seen If a man will only question you With the things you lack He is not a man, he is still a boy Waiting for his monthly allowance – Kath Panugan

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A Refugee Soul

And in times of misery, Being prejudiced of my own soul A foreigner to my mind, A racist to my heart, And a criminal to my art Who can I still call home? No one. For even if how much I told myself Not to lose me. I still did. Again and again. – Kath…

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