I really don’t know why I was never the exact epitome of your ideals. I was never your ideal. Perhaps, I was never been anyone’s, and that’s just fine. Sometimes, I would poke myself in secret, thinking that it would stop this wicked connection I feel every time we meet. Was it even a connection — or a sorcery of two lost souls being dragged together?
I really don’t know why my heart starts beating every time your presence brings whatever spell you name it on me. Probably a delusional dream, a forever-not-forget regret, an abracadabra by your name or a bewitchment on my heart for eternal. And whenever our gazes shout for the same longing, I’d think of how I become a subject of your sorcery. We didn’t make it magical. We never had the magic at all.
I really don’t know why you came into my life like a firebolt or a genie in a lamp that just popped out in front of me. You could have been a little bit slower so I won’t meet you. Or, you could have just been a rush and left me earlier so I won’t be this attached now. You could have been just a ripple so it won’t hurt this much, because it really does.
You could have been a blessing or a lesson — But darling, you were a curse.
– El
